Monday, March 14, 2005

Golf - A Four Letter Word

It sounded like such a good idea when Don "golfscheduler.com" Brownlee called yesterday afternoon. "Want to play tomorrow?"

"Sure, I'm free," I naively replied. "Where are we playing?"

"I'll call Eddie and see what he wants to do and I'll call you back."

See, right there, this is already too complicated. If it takes more than two phone calls to set up, we have violated the "KISS Principle" or "Keep It Simple, Stupid". This is the principle on which all my life is based. I should have just gotten some nasty ailment that doesn't require hospitalization to remove myself from this web of intricacy. Something like cauliflower ear. "Sorry, Don, but I accidently put the phone down with my ear on it, and now it's swollen like a pregnant possum. Check back with me when the plan is less complicated."

But NOOOO. I sit back and wait for the next call (while the Red Raiders are blowing a four point lead to Okie State in the Dr. Pepper Big 12 Championship Tournament. "Sorry, Don, can't play tomorrow, 'cause I inflamed my sinuses when I spewed Dr. Pepper, the official soda pop of the Big 12, out my nose when Coach Knight kicked a chair towards an official after a 'no call'.")

RINNNGGG. "OK, Eddie wants to know if we can play The Links at Lands End in the morning and then go over to Lake Fork Golf Course for a free hamburger and play it in the afternoon? How does that sound?"

The KISS Principle is now completely out the door. Thirty-six holes of golf wrapped around a free hamburger. "Sure, sounds great to me! Is it my turn to drive?"

"I don't know, but I'll check with Eddie."

Now I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but wouldn't this be easier if Eddie just called everybody and told us what the heck to do? He seems to have all the knowledge.

"OK, I'll wait for you to find out, but I really think it is my turn to drive."

"OK, I'll call you back."

Peace in the Middle East is not this difficult.

RINNNNGGG. "OK, our tee time is 7:46 so we need to meet at the Lowe's parking lot at 6:15 so we can be there on time. You're driving."

Oh boy! Maybe I can see Dorothy and all my Lowe's buddies before the lines get too long! (See previous post.)

Green fees for two golf courses (including a FREE cheeseburger) -- $43

Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper and a package of Hot Pork Rinds from the Fina Stop and Shop in Quitman -- $3.36

Whacking a little white ball around the pasture while everybody else is at work--Priceless

(It is a little known fact the the sport of "golf" got its name because all the other four letter words were already taken).

2 Comments:

Blogger Garden Obsession said...

So THAT'S where I get my aversion to planning things with more than one person!

Love that Diet Cherry Vanilla DP, too. Hope the golf and cheeseburger are good!

7:06 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

36 holes of golf in one day! That is some serious golf. Cheeseburger and hot pork rinds - yum! Maybe I should take up golf instead of gardening.

Hope you had a good game.

10:45 PM  

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